Anger is an unpleasant feeling. It is like a blazing flame that burns up our self-control and causes us to say and do things that we regret later. When someone is angry, we can see that they are in a form of hell, a cycle of never-ending rage. Anger and hatred are the materials in which hell is made. A mind without anger is cool, fresh and rational. The absence of anger is the basis of real happiness; the basis of love and compassion. When our anger us placed under the spotlight of Mindfulness, it immediately begins to lose some … Continue reading Mindfulness of Anger
Assertiveness is a positive communication style. It’s the ability to stand up for ourselves in an open, courteous manner. Here’s what assertiveness entails: You have the option of expressing your thoughts or feelings. You have the option of requesting what you want or require. You can respectfully disagree. You have the ability to speak up for someone else. You are welcome to provide your thoughts and suggestions. You don’t have to feel bad about saying no. How to become more Assertive takes practice and committment. Sometimes assertive and aggressive behaviours get mixed up. The main difference between assertive and aggressive … Continue reading Being Assertive
Being non-judgmental implies not seeing things as ‘good’ or ‘bad,’ ‘right’ or ‘wrong.’ Instead, you simply witness or experience it; you are not obligated to make sense of a situation, your own ideas, feelings, or behaviours, or the behaviour of others. It is difficult to remain non-judgmental all of the time. We make snap judgments about people based on their look, conduct, and words from the moment we first see or meet them. And that is perfectly fine. Perhaps you see a person dressed in a way that makes you feel insecure, or they have a voice or look which … Continue reading Non-judgemental
How many of you reading this get distracted? Whether you are reading, talking or listening, many a time you will have experienced being distracted. It can be annoying, frustrating and takes you out of your stride until you can focus again. What about when we are listening to someone speak. It can take a lot of concentration to hear their voice and what subject they are talking about. Listening takes a lot of effort, and sometimes it is hard to shut out other noises. Can you think of times this happens to you? Sometimes it is not just noises that … Continue reading Distractions
The subject of Child Development was one of my favourite parts of learning while studying Psychology, and to this day, I continue to seek out different ideas from Therapists around the world to continue my development in this field. I believe that our childhood interaction with parents/carers contributes to the way in which we behave as an adult. As children are growing up, positive parenting improves their cognitive, social, and problem-solving skills. Positive parenting also influences the child’s reactions and helps them become more self aware adults. Therefore, in my opinion, positive interaction and stimulation are essential in the early … Continue reading Children learn what they live
A speaker started off his seminar by holding a £20 note in the air. In a room of 200 people, he asked, “Who would like a £20 note?”. Hands started going up. He said, “I am going to give this note to one of you, but first let me do this…” He proceeded to crumple up the twenty pound note. He then asked, “Who still wants it?” Still hands were up in the air. “Well, what if I do this?” He dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe. He picked it … Continue reading What are you worth?
Abraham Maslow was a psychologist in the twentieth century who pioneered the humanistic approach to psychology. He is best known for his hierarchy of needs. Maslow believed that human wants may be structured into a hierarchy, in order to better understand what motivates people. This hierarchy includes everything from basic needs like food and water to more complex ideals like self-fulfilment. When a lower need is met, the following needs in the hierarchy become our centre of attention, according to Maslow. These are the five categories of needs according to Maslow: Physiological Physiological needs – these are biological need for … Continue reading Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs
Recently, I was going through the family photo album with my children. “Who was that young man with the flared jeans and long hair” they asked? I remember the style of that era very well, and yes that was me alright – it seemed like not so long ago, maybe a couple of years at most?! We carry on looking through the photo album and come across another person I could not quite fathom out who, but it was familiar.. When I look at the old man in the photos, with receding hair and plain looking clothes, I stop myself … Continue reading Age is just a number!
I feel like a Fraud. I am not good enough to do this job. They will find out. I don’t deserve to be in such a good job. Imposter Syndrome is a Psychological expression for a suppressed feeling that someone is undeserving of the position they are in and that they will eventually be exposed. Imposter Syndrome is the persistent feeling that you’re a fraud and a fake and that someone is going to figure out that you don’t know half as much as you pretend to. This pattern of behaviour affects their performance and there is no let up … Continue reading Imposter Syndrome
The following exercise is suggested for anyone that needs help in coping with a Panic Attack. This also works for Anxiety Attacks. This strategy is one of the best and comes with the best intentions to alleviate the stress. Being aware of your Five Senses. Look around you. Name 5 things you can Hear Name 4 things you can See Name 3 things you can Touch Name 2 things you can Smell Name 1 thing you can Taste. You can feel your Senses at work, reinforcing that you are very much alive and making connections to the world you live … Continue reading Strategy for Panic Attack
Experiencing a panic attack is not simply about experiencing a moment of severe fright or nerves. They run much deeper than that. Contrary to popular belief, experiencing a panic attack is not simply about experiencing a moment of severe fright or nerves when you are about to make that speech in front of five hundred people or the morning of that important meeting or exam you have been preparing for. Panic attacks run much deeper than that. Some symptoms of panic attacks include: Out of body feeling Breathlessness Chest pains Palpitations and racing heart Feeling of impending doom or death … Continue reading Panic Attack
Autism spectrum disorder (ASD) is a developmental disorder characterized by the challenges it causes with social interaction, language skills, nonverbal communication; repetitive patterns of behavior; and the display of unique and highly specific strengths and differences compared with other people. One of the most amazing things that I have come to learn about people who are on the Spectrum, is their ability to see the world we live in from a very different perspective than I can. In my discipline of Psychology, I come across many individuals with interesting and varied backgrounds, including perceptions on how their own life path … Continue reading Autism – a young perspective.
At first glance you may see a person squeezing a bunch of grapes, yet on closer inspection, you can see that these are not real fruit. I see adverts regularly while surfing the internet, for toys that help calm your kids down. Squishy balls, Chewy toys, Spinners, Fidget toys in fact anything to keep the hands busy. There are many different types of toys which are predominantly meant to distract the user from the anxieties they experience in their minds. Are they aimed at children only? No, is the short answer. They look like something that you would amuse a … Continue reading Items to help Cope with anxiety
When we are afraid of a situation, the brain sends a signal to the body to prepare itself. Have you ever wondered at the complexity of the processes involved? I don’t imagine we have time to think about the goings on inside, when faced with Fear, however it is worth knowing more if only to understand what really goes on “behind the scenes”. First of all, it is useful to know how our Nervous System actually works. The Nervous System consists of 2 parts known as the Voluntary and Involuntary Systems. The Voluntary Nervous System controls the movement of our … Continue reading Our Nervous System – Fear
Gratitude Meditation – (Being Thankful) By taking a couple of minutes first thing in the morning when I wake, and then just before I retire for the night, I read the following gratitude statements. These help me to put life into perspective. Have a try and see for yourself? I am grateful for the air in my lungs. I am grateful for my heart that beats and keeps me alive. I am grateful for my senses that help me perceive the world. I am grateful for my comfortable bed. I am grateful for my clothes that protect me and keep … Continue reading Being Thankful
I thought I would share one of my Mindfulness Meditations. Close your eyes and ask someone to read this out to you for maximum benefit. Imagine you are a bright and beautiful caterpillar. You are full and resting on a leaf. You have eaten, explored, and ready for a rest. Now, take in a deep breath, and imagine yourself becoming more still. You feel calm and settled. Notice the gentle wind passing your body making you relax and feel sleepy. Your chrysalis is beginning to form and wraps around your body and you notice the sensation of being close to … Continue reading Transformation
What Is a Weighted Blanket? Occupational therapists have been prescribing weighted blankets to help manage sensory-related symptoms for decades – especially for children and adults on the Autism spectrum. A weighted blanket is a specially made therapeutic blanket with some additional weight, generally weighing between 5 to 30 pounds. They come in different weights to accommodate the user’s size. The idea behind weighted blankets is to make them a little heavy so they can apply a firm pressure on the user’s body. Depending on the manufacturer, these blankets are filled with different weighted materials, including barley, glass beads or even some kind … Continue reading Weighted Blankets
Fed up with screen freezing or poor Internet connections? No closure at the end of a session? Missing the personal interaction? Eye contact is just not the same on Zoom or Facetime. Consider a socially distanced meet-up with me, and feel free to wear a mask too. Walk-and-talk therapy has also proven to be a stress reliever for people who don’t consider their home a safe space for online therapy — whether they can’t find enough privacy to feel comfortable opening up, or their family or partner disapproves of therapy, or someone they live with is the reason they’re seeking … Continue reading Online Therapy too stressful?
Recently the US Government started to offer Covid vaccinations to children aged 12 +, and hopefully the UK and other Nation’s Goverments around the world will follow suit. While there are many differences of opinion on whether vaccinations should be given to young children, I wanted to outline some recent research highlighting the increased risk of death for people with Developmental or Intellectual disabilities. As this affects both my children; one with Autism, and the other having an Intellectual Disability, I am very keen to protect them from the virus, even more so since reading the following information. Individuals with … Continue reading Autism and Increased risk of Covid
Someone once said, “If life gives you lemons, make lemonade.” This is solid advice for every one of us to keep in mind at some point in our lives. Simply put, make the best out of a situation; see how it can be turned around and most importantly, learn from it. Life will constantly throw difficult challenges your way that would make you fall hard to the ground, but you should always get back up, dust yourself off, and keep moving forward with a smile on your face. Know that these challenges are a test of your endurance, of how … Continue reading Life, Lemons and Lemonade
If only life came packed, With manuals we could read, A list of clear instructions and All parts guaranteed. But oh, life’s not so simple, No useful hints or tools, We have to muddle through it Without the help of rules. Yet one thing that we do have Are others by our side, To help support and cheer us, In whom we may confide. For as we share our knowledge, So ignorance takes flight, By working close together We’ll surely get it right. Continue reading A Life Journey
On the days we all experience at one time or another, when one hundred and one things have to be attended to immediately, if not sooner, try keeping the following words in mind: “The shortest way to do many things is to do only one thing at once.” Written by Samuel Smiles, a doctor, writer and social reformer. He was born in Haddington (my hometown), Scotland in 1812. His book, Self-Help, was published in 1859 and was a best seller book, selling a 1/4 million copies, to the British public. In the book, he proposes knowledge as one of the … Continue reading The first Self Help book
I remember reading a story about a woman who goes into a shop and finds God behind the counter. She asks what they are selling and God replies “Whatever you want you can get here.” Proving herself worthy of this opportunity, the woman asks for peace, love and happiness, adding that she wanted this not just for herself, but the whole world. She is expecting great things and can’t help but be rather disappointed when God hands her a small packet. God explains ” We don’t sell fruit or the finished article, only the seeds.” In other words, the whole … Continue reading Sow the seeds
A friend of mine took up a new hobby to help cope with the boredom of being stuck indoors recently, and decided ontaking up landscape painting, something she always fancied doing. She shared with me that she was becoming very frustrated with making so many beginner’s mistakes. This had led her to consider giving up, on more than a few occasions. She confided that she would spend hours trying to capture some glorious view, only to realise that she hadn’t come anywhere near doing it any justice. This quest for perfection was eating away at her. I shared with my … Continue reading Ever Failed – Fail Better
Each day is a fresh beginning For yesterday has gone, Another chance to start anew To change things and move on. Another opportunity To love and smile and give, And act with generosity To look up and laugh and live. Each morning is a fresh, clean page As yet unwritten on, The threshold of an unlived day But not yet walked upon. So choose how you will live this day As on your way you go, For through our acts we all leave tracks Like footprints in the snow. (Kathleen Gillum) Continue reading Each Day
Burt Lancaster played a trapeze artist in the film Trapeze in 1956. Most of the stunts, he performed himself. Burt, had trained as an acrobat since the age of 9. Burt and his friend Nicholas Cuccia formed an acrobatic duo and went on to join Kay’s Circus in the 30’s. When Burt auditioned for this particular job in the circus, he had to prove his worth, not relying on being only an acrobat, but by becoming part of the team who performed each night in the show. The boss of the Circus asked a young Burt, to try out the … Continue reading Burt Lancaster inspiration
I offer Psychotherapy sessions for survivors of heart attacks/cardio events, which are available at my other website: Adjustment Therapy, however the Covid pandemic impacted on my ability to provide any sort of face to face therapy, even with masks, so this was not an option. It has not been safe for me to go out since March 2020 because of the risk of getting the Covid virus and only now, with the vaccine being available to me by May this year, I plan to offer Therapy sessions for people of all ages, who have been affected by a recent Cardio … Continue reading Post-Cardio recovery
8 Signs of a toxic friendship 1. Putting You Down Constantly You should feel like your friend’s equal, giving and receiving positive feedback that makes you both feel good. However, a toxic friend may find ways to make you feel like you’re less than they are. For example, they might draw attention to your insecurities and reinforce them as true. Or, they might discourage you from trying to achieve your dreams (telling you that they’re not realistic for someone like you). 2. Blame Everyone makes mistakes in relationships. Good friends can apologize for their part in such arguments or other … Continue reading Signs of a toxic friendship
What are good friendship qualities? It comes down to 5 crucial qualities in my opinion, yet there may be more. Anyone wish to comment? Nourish. The friendship nourishes both individuals. Each feels supported and cared for and both look forward to each other’s company. Trust. Each knows they can count on each other to be honest and accepting, even when one or both change. Commitment. Both are prepared to put time and effort into the relationship even when physically apart. Balance. The give and take of a relationship balances out over time, as each provide support when required. Relationship. This … Continue reading Good friendship qualities
Today is World Obesity Day (4th March 2021) Body Mass Index (BMI) is a calculation of body fat on the basis of height and weight applying to adult men and women. Your Body Mass Index score indicates whether you are underweight or overweight. Based on the score that you get, you may be advised to bulk up or lose weight. It is done to ensure that you maintain a bodyweight that may be healthy, and you may be advised to change your lifestyle to attain a healthier BMI. The BMI scale was developed in 1832 by a Belgian mathematician named … Continue reading Adolphe Quetete and BMI?