Top tips for dealing with draining friends

It’s not your problem – truly “get” that everyone’s health, wealth and happiness is 100% their responsibility. Not yours. Feels good already, doesn’t it?

Learn to see your needs and feelings as important – it’s not OK for people to     take up your time and leave you depleted and anxious whenever they want.

Protect yourself – create strong boundaries with others. The stronger the boundary the more respect they will show you.

Be clear with others – how much time and energy you are prepared to give. “I will pop by for 20 minutes”.

Create distance – limit your time with them and learn to unhook from needy, controlling or manipulative behaviour.

Up your standards – decide not to tolerate bad/abusive behaviour. “I’m not talking to you when you are drunk”/”I won’t be lending you any more money”/“I have other things to do and can’t help you right now”.

Stop taking up the role of “rescuer” – understand you have more to offer than as a nursemaid or “shoulder” – you don’t have to give extreme self-sacrifice to get love, be needed or show love.

Remove yourself – let other people make their own mistakes.

 

 

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