Top tips for dealing with draining friends

It’s not your problem – truly “get” that everyone’s health, wealth and happiness is 100% their responsibility. Not yours. Feels good already, doesn’t it?

Learn to see your needs and feelings as important – it’s not OK for people to     take up your time and leave you depleted and anxious whenever they want.

Protect yourself – create strong boundaries with others. The stronger the boundary the more respect they will show you.

Be clear with others – how much time and energy you are prepared to give. “I will pop by for 20 minutes”.

Create distance – limit your time with them and learn to unhook from needy, controlling or manipulative behaviour.

Up your standards – decide not to tolerate bad/abusive behaviour. “I’m not talking to you when you are drunk”/”I won’t be lending you any more money”/“I have other things to do and can’t help you right now”.

Stop taking up the role of “rescuer” – understand you have more to offer than as a nursemaid or “shoulder” – you don’t have to give extreme self-sacrifice to get love, be needed or show love.

Remove yourself – let other people make their own mistakes.

 

 

About ChangeTherapy

I consider myself someone who 'thinks outside the box'; rather than following strict regimented instruction during the helping therapies; my belief is to frame therapies around the person, rather than try and make a person fit into a certain box. Educated at George Watson's College, in Edinburgh and then worked in Office Management/Administration for Local Government and Major Construction, before owning a retail Newsagent in the Blackhall area of Edinburgh. My training in Reiki and Healing started in 1997, and after attending college to complete my Counselling qualifications, I studied for 6 years with the Open University to obtain my Bachelor of Science degree, with Honours, studying Psychology and Counselling (including Autism) I have been involved for 22 years directly and indirectly in many capacities in the fields of Counselling for Autism, Special Needs, Adoption, HRT, Post-Cardiac Recovery, Alcohol Addiction, Gambling Addiction, Obsessive Compulsive Disorders, Anxiety and Sadness and Floating Harbor Syndrome. Mindfulness Practitioner; Reiki and Meditation Practitioner. Mind Coach Practitioner.
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