Recently, a client came to me with a problem; one that was causing all sorts of unrest in their life. They struggled to sleep at night for worrying, and this had an
impact on their waking hours, as they were tired and irritable, and they found
themselves becoming consumed with trying to find an answer to the ‘problem’.

Many people, including myself, have had this type of experience before, and it is not a
pleasant place to be in, therefore I was able to empathise to a degree on the emotions involved.

What I believe works for the all of my clients, is when I give them time
to speak openly, without judgement, as this also encourages the client to talk
through their feelings. Sometimes they start to discover a pattern in their
behaviour, when I reflect back on what they say. There is often a repetitive thought process in action, where their perception of the problem is the only one they talk about. This in turn helps me pinpoint exactly where changes are required to allow the alternative approaches necessary, to address the negative spiral the client finds themselves in.

When someone has a particular problem that they cannot overcome easily, it is really
useful if you can find someone who will listen and offer a fresh perspective on
the situation.

The option of having a fresh perspective of the issue offers alternatives which can then be taken into consideration. My client was able to overcome their ‘problem’, as they were encouraged to be ‘open-minded’ to differening perspectives on how to approach this issue. They were able to accept that they did not have control over the situation, however with new perspectives of the problem, they managed to negotiate a compromise with the other party.

To expand more on this subject, but also keeping this as ‘light reading’, and my opinion only, I believe that perceptions of life are the main area to any positive relationship, whether that is of a personal nature or in business.

Everyone has a different perspective and as long as one is open to changing their particular viewpoint, then progress can be achieved.

When the client looks at their problem which is causing them discomfort in their life, they are looking at the problem from their own perspective.

The problem itself has come about because it is not something of their choosing, however the other party that created the current circumstances the client finds themselves in, also has a different perspective. Therefore, we now have two unique perspectives of the problem/situation.

If one party assumes that everyone thinks like they do, and can only see the world from their perspective, it is more difficult to find a solution. (this is being Egocentric, in psychological terms).

If, however one party is flexible in their thinking, and able to alter their way of thinking, a solution will be easier to find – at least this is a starting point and a positive way forward.

To find a solution it is important that both parties can see at least part of each other’s perspectives and work from there to eventually find a compromise, where both are satisfied with the outcome.

If in the future you come across a problem which you find difficult to understand or overcome, try looking more at the perspectives of yourself and the other, and if you can empathize as to why they have acted as they have, this is a positive step forward. You are showing that you are open and flexible to working towards a solution. For instance, writing a letter like this:

“In response to your plan XYZ, while I do not agree fully with what you propose, I am trying to see this from your perspective and wonder if you could give me an indication of the reasons behind your action. I want to find an amicable solution, as I am sure you do?
It would be really helpful if my viewpoints could be taken into consideration before a final decision is made, so that we can form a positive relationship moving forward”.

The language used, when negotiating differing perspectives is key to this point, where our words can easily be mis-interpreted. I have emphasized the positive words in Italics of the proposed communication, so as to make the point that using these types of words are very powerful, while also encouraging positive communication.

If you are ever in doubt about how to respond or react to a problem that you have, one that needs careful handling, try and find someone who can bring a fresh perspective to the table, to allow you some time to consider their opinion, as well as your own. Try to look at the problem from as many angles as possible before acting. Get in touch with me if you require any help, for instance in how to write a letter like the one above.

Thanks for reading

Steve